Sexuality, Transcendent Gender and Sexual Relationships in Shamanism

Warning: Some of the material in this post may be highly offensive to Western Christians and other people with fixed world-views of human sexuality.

I just bought a periwinkle dress shirt. When I said that to a woman I know she said “Are you sure you’re straight because I don’t know of any other man who is straight who would know what a ‘periwinkle’ shirt color would be.” When I replied that I supposed I was a “metrosexual,” she expressed surprise, pointing out that she felt the most explicit masculine energy coming from me that she had ever felt from a man. Then she stopped. In thinking about our relationship, she recognized that she has also felt highly feminine energy coming from me. This puzzled her. The reason is simple. I’m a Shaman, and Shamans transcend standard human sexual categories and rules.

Shamanism precedes religion by, at the very least, thousands of years. It is the very first type of community spiritual understanding, clearly evident into the mists of pre-history, with many, many indications that it is common even among the Neanderthals, and the earliest of homo sapiens. The Shaman is the mediator between the day and the night, the spirit world and the material world, men and women, different tribes and races, the side of light and the side of darkness, and so on. The Shaman transcends categories. The Shaman is a “third gender,” neither male nor female, and both male and female. Shamanic marriages are almost always highly unconventional, occurring for a variety of reasons, but usually counter-cultural in nature. Some Shamanic marriages may be between the residents of the Spirit World and those of the Material World. Sexual relationships may (and usually do) occur on different planes. Sexual relationships may occur between Shamans and other Shamans, either physically or spiritually. The Shaman may have a societally sanctioned marriage and share in a non-sanctioned marriage, as well. And so on.

Shamanism, being the precursor of religion, is often studied by religious anthropologists and sociologists to help them understand how certain religious elements evolved One of the real problems with this scholarly approach is that the roles of community leadership and the Spirit World are reversed between Shamanism and Religion. Shamanism is seen to be counter-cultural and, therefore, often will oppose the tribal or community leadership. The chieftan of a community and the medicine person of the community are often at odds. Religion, however, is or inevitably becomes, the tool of government, giving divine sanction to the government’s rules, such as Christianity does in America today. Over the 4^th of July weekend, many Evangelical churches sung war songs, and even had videos of war planes killing people, at which the congregants cheered. Clearly, this is not Christian in any sense of the word, but is common. Religion backs up government. Shamanism often opposes whatever the societal mythology might be, by pushing the realities of the Spirit World. One of these counter-cultural realities is human sexuality.

The Shaman, and those who visit the Shaman for healing and Spiritual Growth, often enter into a world of alternative sexuality. Now, in America where there are so many wanna be “Shamans” you’ll hear things like “that’s inappropriate.” Actually it is quite appropriate and quite ancient. It is the “wannabes” and psychobabblists who are inappropriate in trying to restrict a major part of human spirituality, namely, sexuality, and shoehorn humanity into narrow, bigoted and useless Western Christian anti-body, anti-sexuality belief systems. It is the Western Christians who are completely inappropriate in trying to force, through their draconian laws and bigoted belief systems, to force those systems on those of us who do not accept their perversions regarding the health and joy, as well as the spirituality, of human sexuality.

Frankly, I feel sorry for the lions that Christians used to get fed to. The bitterness of these narrow and often evil people probably gave the poor lions indigestion! (I am a committed Christian, but an Eastern Orthodox Christian. We do not share in the narrow attitudes of the heresy of the Western Church. Eastern Orthodoxy is quite open about human sexuality, and sees the body as good and holy, and human sexuality as joyful, unlike the Roman heresy from which all Protestants, Evangelicals, etc. have come. In the East Christians weren’t thrown to lions. That was mostly in Rome. I probably would have thrown ‘em to lions, too.)

Shamans utilize sexuality in various different ways. First, Shamans transcend gender. Regardless of plumbing, they will ingress many qualities of the opposite gender from that in which they were born. Most of us are also, to some degree or another, bi-sexual. While most of us (like me) have a preference for one gender or another, we are able to operate effectively with either gender in many ways, including, when necessary or appropriate, sexual expression.

Secondly, Shamans utilize sexual feelings in healing others. For some Shamans this involves helping the Seeker visualize sexuality or feel sexual feelings. Other times it may well involve certain kinds of sexual expression, up to and including intercourse, the generation of climax, or other kinds of sexual expression. For the Shamans who do this, strangely enough, it doesn’t feel very sexual. It is quite possible for a male Shaman, for example, to induce climax in a female Seeker who needs healing and not even have an erection. For the Shaman it is healing, not sexual.

Thirdly, the Shaman utilizes his or her own sexual feelings transcendently to channel power. Sexuality, used correctly and with practice and discipline can be used to produce powerful and seemingly miraculous healing. The channeling of the sexual and orgasmic feelings correctly focuses the core of the Shamanic Spirit in certain directions.

Fourth, the Shaman can “reprogram” pain pathways into pleasure pathways through the inducing of sexual pleasure in someone seeking healing from the Shaman. This is similar to the accidental reprogramming that occurs in masochism, where pain and pleasure become associated highly. Few people are born associating sexual pleasure with pain, but some kind of induction can take place which generates this. In Shamanic Healing, especially Pressing, the Shaman can redirect pain pathways and other broken neuronal pathways into pleasure pathways, literally blocking the pain pathways and creating new pleasurable ones. This must carefully be explained to the Seeker who is seeking relief from pain. Most Americans are too brainwashed to understand this and wind up accusing the Shaman or pleasure seeking or charlatanism. In fact, this is incredibly effective and incredibly ancient.

Fifth, the Shaman can enter into a sexual relationship with the Seeker to heal issues of abandonment or isolation. Often this is the only way to heal these issues.

Sixth, two Shamans who are of great power can utilize sex and human sexuality to, not double their power, but exponentially increase it. By joining one’s creative energy with that of another Shaman, the Shamans together can have 10, 100 or 1,000 times the power that either one of them alone can wield. Two Shamans having creative intercourse will sense intense electricity and energy flowing through their bodies, transcending even pleasure. It is an experience that can only be felt by those with the Shamanic gift. Think of your best orgasm ever. Now multiply that by 1,000. Now you have a shallow approximation of this gift.

Seventh, some Shamans have sexual experiences with angels and other spirits. This can be true of Lightworkers and Darkworkers. I cannot speak to the experiences with Dark Spirits. The experiences with angels and Spirits of Light are beyond incredible.

Eighth, Shamans often have non-standard relationships, such as Triune, Quad, Pent, and so on marriages and relationships. As we don’t accept the Christian narrow, nasty and non-working views of marriage, we see absolutely nothing wrong with entering polygamous, homosexual, polyamorous, etc. relationships. It is only the narrow and ridiculous Christian worldview that requires “one man and one woman,” which is rarely followed anyway. (With Christians it is often "one man, one woman, one gay or straight mistress or prostitute...")

Ninth, some Shamans will, from time to time, cross dress. (I don’t do this, as I’d make one damned triple-coyote ugly woman!) Cross dressing is a sign that the Shaman transcends gender rules and boxes. I do, however, have a periwinkle shirt and paisley tie.

Tenth, Shamans are androgynous in many ways. They will often have interests that are not usual gender interests. They will often find more comfort with members of the opposite gender, and so on. I am, and always have been, the “best girlfriend” to many women, yet put forth highly masculine energy. This is standard for Shamans.

My space on this is “up” today. This is just the beginning, though, of the exploration of transcendent Shamanic Spirituality. More will come later.

Peace, love, joy and peace,

J,

Happy Illusory Freedom Day!

Nicole, Kristin and I do not celebrate the 4th of July, other than to enjoy an extra day off and the Cherry Creek Arts Festival. It is a pretty disgusting holiday dedicated to nationalism, jingoism, and illusory freedom….and some pretty good fireworks. But as a holiday, it is very problematic for the Spiritual Person. Here’s why.

1). Spiritual People cannot be nationalistic and certainly cannot be jingoistic. Nationalism (and, even more, jingoism) says that one nation is holier, better, greater than another. As all true Spirituality sees the unity of all people in whatever nation, whatever race, whatever gender, etc., we cannot and should no more celebrate nationalism than we should celebrate being white, Black, Asian, Hispanic, or male or female, unless we are celebrating the Diversity of all races or nations. The 4th of July certainly does not do that. It is one more encouragement for rednecks and other jingoists to sit around, swill cheap beer, and brag about how superior America is.

2). America is certainly not superior. I think the Brits say it best. “America is the only country in history that has passed directly from barbarism to decadence without an intervening civilization.” I would certainly agree, except to say that we’ve passed back into barbarism.

The last few years we have: started a pre-emptive and internationally illegal war. We have allowed and promoted torture both here and in other countries (against treaties that, mostly, WE wrote, adding extreme hypocrisy to the abomination of torturing someone). We have allowed murderers, rapists and other war criminals to go unpunished or with a slap on the wrist, simply because they were soldiers and we have made “worship our troops” the top value of this nation. And so on and so on. America is the only nation to have ever dropped an nuclear bomb. (Duh-Bya and other ignoramuses! That is pronounced NEW-clee-er, not New-cue-lar.) We are the only nation with a nuclear first strike policy. We have committed almost complete genocide on the Native Nations, enslaving them and stealing all of their land. We enslaved Blacks for generations. We incarcerated American citizens (Japanese) without trial or due process in WWII simply because of their race. We have passed the abomination called "The Patriot Act" which has taken away every civil right in America. And on and on and on. We are not a “good” nation, though we are certainly not the worst dictatorship in the world. But to speak of us, as some idiotic Republicans do, as a “shining city on a hill” is just plain absurd and nauseating. America has much to answer for.

3). Spiritually, America is a very, very dark place. Almost our whole country serves the values of Darkness. America has the highest incarceration rate of any country in the world, even taking into account totalitarian nations and their execution rate. We have the highest crime rate of anywhere in the world, and one of the lowest rates of solving crime. We are highly materialistic. We use a large percentage of the world’s resources with a real minority of the world’s population. We interfere with people’s private marriage and sexual choices. One religion, draconian Protestant and Evangelical Christianity, is allowed to rule this country, depriving people of other religions or no religion of their say as taxpayers, and cramming superstition and interference down everyone’s throat. We have more laws telling people what to do or not do than any other nation in the world, including totalitarian nations. We are a country of “zero tolerance” policies and police state values. This is not a nation that agrees with true Spiritual values. America is, again, a very evil place, with much to answer for.

4). Our vaunted “Freedoms” are entirely illusory, as any police agency now has the right to incarcerate anyone for any reason or no reason whatsoever, without recourse, counsel, or any rights whatsoever, simply on the say of that government agency that someone is a “terrorist.” It can’t happen here? Hey…it already has numerous times, on the say-so of the FBI (Federal Bureau of Intimidation). Only extreme protests have let several innocent people have the rights that should have as “inalienable rights” according to our Constitution, that Congress and both the Bush and Obama administrations have used as toilet paper.

No, we don’t celebrate this country in our community. We have a small measure of hope that enough pressure can be put on the cowardly Obama administration to actually carry through on campaign promises, and enough pressure put on the Democratic Congress to stop derailing everything that Obama proposes to restore our Constitution, as little as that is.

I’m sure I’ll get “Commie Pinko Islamofascist” hate mail for this one. Some people can’t look reality in the face. Take a good hard look at America and what America truly stands for. Take an anti-nausea pill first, and be just as hard on America (and no harder….but no softer, either) as you would be with any other country. If you’re honest and a Spiritual Person, you’ll be disgusted. And you won’t want to celebrate, either, though you’ll probably enjoy watching the fireworks.

To close, there are two things we can do with this. We can sit around and be disgusted. Or we can realize that, if we aren’t pushing to solve a problem, we are part of the problem. While the system is very, very broken, and the politicians (including the new Messiah, Obama) are very, very crooked, enough pressure from enough people will restore our Constitution, limit the influence of Western Christians and their narrow, judgmental religion, and allow us to fulfill the promise of America, and let us celebrate a True Freedom Day. I’m a Libertarian for the most part, as I think both major parties are irredeemably corrupt and almost indistinguishable. But there are plenty of other answers, as well. And I’d like to see an America that is truly free, and truly believes in “liberty and justice for all.” This means regardless of race, color, religion, age, gender, nationality, national origin, ethnicity, sexual orientation, marital status, and so on. I do not know that we can make it happen. I do know that if we do nothing we are equally to blame as the Western Christians who despise true freedom and want a cookie-cutter nation.

Happy Illusory Freedom Day!

J

Meum et Tuum

One of the very important (but highly controversial) understandings on a true Spiritual Path is letting go of the concept of property. This is probably, along with different understandings of human sexuality, marriage and love, the most difficult concept on the Shamanic Road.

There is no such thing as “private property.” This is one more illusion that is born of the Ego Self. To speak of “owning” something is hilarious when it can be taken from us at any instant, along with our lives. Those who even speak of their “own” bodies make me want to roll on the floor and laugh. We have such little actual control of anything that to speak of “owning” it is just absurd.

Property is an illusion. This is clearly understood by the Native Nations, such as the Lakota, Apache, etc. They find it funny for us to speak of “owning” something (land) that has been in existence for millions upon millions of years and will be there (unless we destroy it) for millions of years after we’re gone. But, in point of fact, no one owns the land. We are part of the land, like every other creature and his or her artifacts. Our building a condo on land is no different from bees building a hive on land. We might as well say that the bees have property rights. Now, keep in mind that for tens of thousands of years the Native Nations lived in harmony with the land and left it almost pristine while still having a very complex and successful civilization. In little more than 400 years the White Man has destroyed most of the forest in the North America, polluted the air, despoiled the water, destroyed the buffalo, and ruined the land.

Our legacy as Americans is one of destruction, ruination of natural resources, genocide against the Native Americans, forcing of Western narrow and bigoted Christianity as well as English, on the Native Nations, wars over “ownership” of property and millions of lives lost over pointless war and conflicts. Ghettos and crushing poverty, drug addictions, loss of freedoms that this country was supposed founded on, And people still say that they’re “proud to be Americans.” Over what? We have much to be ashamed of. There is not much to be “proud” of regarding America (or European culture, either).

We, at most, have use of things, including money, for a time. When circumstances change, that use is removed from us and given to another person. This is the natural way of things. Even the atoms which compose our cells are re-used and given to other things.

A truly Spiritual way of looking at property is to understand that God owns everything. We are merely caretakers of everything, with absolutely no rights to these things. God assigns the individual(s) who will be using the things that God has created or that were manufactured with God’s Creation. If we are poor caretakers, then the care of the thing is taken from us and given to another.

It is, therefore, incredibly silly to get too terribly attached to anything. It isn’t ours, anyway. This, by the way, includes our bodies. We can be ejected from our bodies incredibly quickly. Why get too attached to them?

As God has created everything and owns everything, we don’t. But there is another sense in which ownership is a silly illusion.

Ownership comes from a sense of lack. Think about this. Diamonds are actually quite common. They have been made by the acre. The evil men of the Diamond cartels keep acres and acres of diamonds in vaults to keep the price up. The fact that the price is up is responsible for the oppression of many to mine conflict diamonds. Without the hoarding of diamonds, you could buy a ring for your loved one with a couple of carat stone in it for incredibly cheap. Since the evil diamond people hoard these things, the price is very high. If they want to raise the price, they release fewer diamonds to the market. Then they tell the lie that diamonds are “rare.” They aren’t. They’re just kept artificially inflated.

This sense of lack keeps us wanting something. If something is difficult to obtain, it is worth “more” to us.

The illusion of ownership of the land encourages class stratification, oppression and separation of people. It is entirely of the Ego Self. The Ego Self always wants to be superior and entitled. The entitlement attitude of the upper classes of society (almost always associated with land ownership) sees others as worthless and inferior. This is very unspiritual.

The consequences of the illusion of ownership are devastating. Class separation and entitlement leads to resentment, leading to revolutions and wars. The victors of these revolutions and civil wars go on to commit the exact same errors. Land “ownership” merely changes hands. The real problem is not whose hands the land is in…it is the very concept of ownership itself.

Another consequence of the illusion of ownership is the ruination of the environment. Because we believe that land belongs to us, we feel we can do anything we wish with it. The reality is that we are simply caretakers or stewards of the Earth. But when we have the illusion of ownership, we believe it is our right to ruin the land if we wish. Those who point this out are branded (as I will probably be) as commie-pinko-‘Merica haters who are probably gay or lesbian as well. People who point out that the Emperor has no clothes are rarely popular with the butt-kissers of the status quo. But, of course, ruining the land is rejected by any real Spirituality. Even Roman Catholicism points out that the land is not ours to ruin, much less any true Spirituality.

In another article I’ll take a look at the concept of acquiring money and how absurd and unspiritual that concept is. Until then, look at the Native way of looking at ownership of the land and the way of the Whites who have despoiled and desecrated the land. See which makes more sense and less destructive, and which has destroyed thousands of acres of the beautiful Earth and will leave it, in a short time, uninhabitable. It will be quite clear that the Way of the Red Road makes (as usual) much more sense than the Christian, White, and “American” way, not only for us, but for our children and the survival of our planet.

Peace, love, joy and prosperity,

J.

On Burning Bridges and Boats

When Alexander the Great invaded Persia, it is said that he set his troop boats on fire. The only way that the troops could get home was to conquer the Persian empire. They did.

Our Spirit Self is the Alexander the Great of ourselves. Burning boats and bridges is often necessary to walk a true Spiritual Path, have a committed relationship, enter a new phase of life, or walk in integrity. Failure to do so often means failure in the Path, the relationship, etc.

We often want to leave ourselves an “out.” We like to have an “escape plan.” We tell ourselves that prudence dictates that we don’t jump in all the way, but only 95% or even 99% of the way, always leaving ourselves a small way to escape whatever plan we are embarked on. This is planning for failure.

The Eastern Orthodox Church does not let people who are getting married have a pre-nuptial agreement in most cases, seeing it as a way of planning to get divorced. Marriage these days has become a partial commitment, where it should be a total commitment. One is in or one is wiser not to make the commitment.

Many couples keep completely separate bank accounts. This is almost always a sign that the marriage won’t make it. Many couples also keep separate friends, separate interests and separate lives. I have never seen a marriage make it where these things are true….never.

Many Seekers embarking on the Spiritual Path leave an out for themselves in their minds and spirits. Rather than understanding that this Path is total, complete and irrevocable commitment, they have a plan “if it doesn’t work out.” Almost all discount the extreme consequences of leaving one’s Spiritual Path, either by lying to themselves and telling themselves that they are still on it, after they’ve betrayed their Teacher and Path, or by convincing themselves that it was all hogwash anyway. In almost anything which requires a commitment, people leave themselves “outs,” ways of escape, and alternative plans. We’re told by society that this is just good planning. It is a lie. It is cowardice, at some level or another.

God jumps in 1000%. God risks everything, often on one person. God left the birth of Jesus in the hands of a 13 or 14 year old girl at her prayers in an occupied country in one of the more barbaric times in human history. I believe God is leaving the future of humanity now in the hands of another young woman who has some difficult choices. This is God’s way. Einstein said that God doesn’t play dice with the Universe. In fact, this simply showed that Einstein, while a great physicist, was a lousy theologian. God plays dice with the Universe, our lives, and humanity all the time. God is the ultimate gambler who takes extreme risks. So should we.

If you are faced with a decision in life, burn your bridges. Don’t hold back. Don’t leave yourself an “out.” If you’re getting married, get truly married in every way, lock, stock and barrel (and bank account and name and house and friends and etc. etc.) If you’re walking a Spiritual Path, take that Path with fullness of commitment and zeal. If you’re being asked to make any commitment or decision, jump in completely. This is essential to Spirituality. It is essential to life.

If you’re going to live, then take big bites and big risks. This is part of the core of Shamanic Spirituality. We aren’t Buddhists Lite. We don’t walk the “middle way.” We aren't prudent. We jump in fully, completely and without reserve. Our way is better. We get to truly live instead of somewhat exist.

If we are to live, let us truly live. As I say as part of my email signature:

“If you live your life fully, tears will be cried.
But the tears of regret will never be dried.”

Live you life. Get out of the shadow world. Live in the Light. It is time that you actually get it and stop being “prudent.” It is time that, instead, you live.

Life, love, peace, prosperity, joy.

J.

Pragmatic Go Along Get Along

Sorry for the caps. I'm travelling and writing on the laptop with my very large fingers that have some nerve damage, and blogspot doesn't allow Word's formatting to come over....and it is difficult to put things in italics within their primative text editor.

To continue “Go Along Get Along….”

Here are a few pragmatic things to do regarding “Go Along Get Along” that every truly Spiritual (or even courteous) person should practice. Now, these things need not be ALWAYS practiced. I’m not suggesting that a Spiritual person be a doormat. Far from it! But I DO think that there is far too little courtesy in today’s world. And courtesy is an essential component of Spirituality.

Why? True Spirituality on the side of the Light is concerned with serving others, not aggrandizing ourselves. When we do not practice courtesy, we put ourselves first, which is not serving others. In fact, not practicing courtesy and “go along get along” is a Dark Side thing. While it is difficult to think of Miss Manners as being a Teacher of the Light....well, strange as it seems, she might be….at least of a small, 60 watt bulb of the Light.

So, don’t be a doormat for others. But, practice courtesy. Here are a few things that should be part of your vocabulary.

1). Please, you first.

2). (Some else) “Will X bother you?” “Of course not, go right ahead.” (I am NOT referring to rude social habits like smoking here! In the case of someone wanting to light up in your non-smoking presence, the answer I’d give is “I’m so sorry, but cigarette smoke bothers me. I’d really prefer it if you wouldn’t.”

3). “Is X OK for lunch?” “Certainly…anywhere you wish.”

4). I had a very lovely time. Thank you.

5). What music would YOU like to listen to? (Of course, in my humble opinion, this doesn’t apply to Country music or gansta rap….personal prejudice…)

You get the point. You should be normally deferring to the needs, wants and desires of others whenever possible. Here are a few more things that are pragmatic courtesy/Spiritual things we should be doing.

1). Wait for people to get off the elevator before barging in. Hold the elevator door.

2). Don’t rush past those who are slower than you are in front of you, or, if you must, audibly and truly excuse yourself. Say something like, “Please excuse me sir/m’am. I have to rush to a meeting.” Especially NEVER “push” past someone with a mumbled (or no) “’scuse me.” This marks you as simply being a boor.

3). The following is something that you might not understand unless, like me, you have disabilities. Virtually everyone with a mobility disability WILL understand this (and, if the occasion warrants, will give you permission to break this courtesy rule…). Don’t rush ahead of someone with a mobility disability who you are “with.” It is INCREDIBLY rude. You are flaunting your physical abilities when someone is struggling, perhaps, just to walk. Walk with that person. To rush ahead instead of walking with the person shows a complete lack of compassion, empathy and love for that person.

4). Don’t allow large obstacles to come between you as you walk with someone you care about. This is also showing a lack of caring for the person. Stay with the person, rather than going around the “quicker” way.

The preceding two things are something I see people doing all the time. This one is truly about Spirituality because of what this discourtesy says. It is all about time and efficiency. If you do this, you think that your time is SO valuable that you do not need to honor the person you’re with. As honoring persons is what the Light is all about, your discourtesy in NOT honoring a person is, again, a Dark Side trait. The behaviors are rude, but the belief system that underlies the behaviors is beyond rude. It is a belief system of Darkness. Change it AT ONCE.

5). Don’t demand for things to be your own way in a relationship with someone. A relationship is not Burger King. You don’t always get to have it “your way.” In a relationship, a Spiritual Person is constantly accommodating, compromising, deferring to the Other, and so on. This is the purpose of relationships for the Spiritual Person….to teach us to love. Realistically, if we can’t love someone we’re allowing access to our genitals, how are we going to love the whole of humanity? Someone who says that they love humanity and wishes to serve humanity, yet is not deferential to their significant other(s) is simply kidding themselves.

Your job in a relationship is to give joy and happiness to the people you love. Now, look, you can’t “make” someone happy. But you CAN make someone miserable! Refraining from making the life of the person you love a holy living hell is as close to “making someone happy” as you’ll probably get in this life. Do it.

6). Defer from “your way.” I’m an extrovert. I’m deeply involved with two beautiful introverts. I have to defer on my extroversion a LOT. A WHOLE LOT. And, no, I don’t always like it, although I do love making my beloveds happy in many ways….that included. But it is far from easy.

By the same token, the introverts of the world, considering that extroverts are in the vast majority, need to defer a great deal, too. Somewhere there is a happy medium. (What does it take for a medium to be happy? Perhaps friendly spirits??)

Extroverts need to shut up and let the introverts be introverted sometimes. But, often, (especially as any relationship at all requires communication and lots of it) the introverts need to get over their desire to clam up and put it on external speaker, whether they want to or not. I’ve often heard from introverts “I can’t” when asked to speak. This is the same as an extrovert saying that they can’t shut up (I’ve heard extroverts say that, too). Both of these things are hogwash and serious hogwash. Introverts certainly CAN put it on external speaker, and extroverts certainly CAN shut the $$#)& np! Both are necessary to a relationship to take place. Frankly, it is more incumbent on the introverts to open up, as opening is necessary to relationship of any kind. But both are necessary.

The most important courtesy thing, though, which this blog has discussed many times, is being present. LISTEN to what those around you are saying, and what they desire. REMEMBER the things they ask you to do and, if possible, do them. PAY ATTENTION to what is going on around you. Be where you are and with the people you are with. Some things on this.

1). Playing with your cell phone while in a conversation is usually quite rude. Ditto with taking calls, unless you are in a situation where you don’t have a choice. BE PRESENT to the person who is with you, and don’t text, tweet, play games, or any of the other things that cell phones, Blackberries (isn’t amazing what they can do in genetically engineering fruit these days…), Chocolates, I-Phones, etc., etc., etc. can do. If you want to text, be present to the person you’re texting with. Texting in a “live” conversation is just plain rude, unless you’re finding out information for the person you’re speaking with. Ditto for checking emails, surfing the net, etc. while in conversation, unless it is a business conversation and you’re finding out info for the person with whom you’re conversing. Being distracted by technology is just plain unspiritual as well as incredibly rude.

On the above, I don’t want to hear from tons of young people telling me I don’t understand their “culture.” Not being present is rude and unspiritual, regardless of your “culture.” It is simply the update of the old fart reading the Wall Street Journal when his family is trying to have a breakfast conversation. Whether you’re 18 or 180, not being present is STILL UNSPIRITUAL and just plain RUDE.

2). Leave the time of the conversation or activity open as far as possible in today’s world. Don’t overbook or overschedule yourself. Give each person in your life the time that he or she needs and/or wants. This is essential to Spirituality. My daughter might say that this doesn’t give her time to see all of her “friends.” If you have to rush from “friend” to “friend,” giving each a strictly allotted amount of time to squeeze them all in, these people are hardly friends at all. Friends care about each other and take care of one another.

3). Figure out what the other person needs from THEIR perspective, not yours. Give it to them. This is a large part of being there. Anyone can give someone else what that person feels the Other wants. It takes a truly Spiritual person to graciously give to the Other what he or she ACTUALLY needs. Don’t pat yourself on the back if you’re a “giving person,” but that “giving” is what YOU think the Other needs. You’re not giving unless you’re giving what the Other TRULY needs.

These are a few of the pragmatic and real-world things that are necessary for being “go along get along.” They are also some of the things necessary for being a Spiritual Person. Courtesy and Spirituality are partners with one another. Courtesy is necessary for Spirituality to be real. Courtesy is, after all, simply the manifestation of “being present.” And being present is the core and key to true Spirituality.

Love, peace, joy and prosperity,

J.

Go Along Get Along

One of the most important Spiritual lessons is “go along get along.” Sometimes I find “spiritual” people to be some of the most demanding, contrary and disagreeable people on the face of the earth. This is just plain narcissism, not Spirituality.

There are several issues that must be addressed with this. First, and most important, is the issue of entitlement. This is a growing problem in America, especially among Gen X and Millennials. Many people feel that they are entitled to have what they want when they want it. This is very unspiritual. The Spiritual person understands that we are both entitled to everything….and nothing. We are entitled, by free gift, to all of the abundance of the Universe, with the price being following the Discipline to obtain it. We are entitled to absolutely NOTHING from any other human being. We may ask. We may reasonably expect certain things from those we are in relationship with. But we may demand NOTHING. When we demand, we are slipping over to the Dark Side.

Here are some important (and many of them ancient) tips for being a Spiritual person in this vital way.

1). Eat what is offered to you (unless, of course, you are actually allergic or doing so will cause you to hurl or spew large volumes of toxic waste). Don’t be “picky” in your eating. All food is blessed, and, so long as we give thanks for it, will nourish our bodies. While, when we control what we eat, we can and should eat in a healthy manner, when we are with others, especially a guest at someone’s home, we should graciously eat what is presented to us with thanksgiving and compliments. (This is very, very important if visiting someone from a Native Nation or a Shaman.)

2). Don’t refuse any gift offered to you. If someone offers you something, accept it with thanks and thanksgiving. If you begin to refuse gifts from the Universe, either directly or through another individual, the Universe will stop offering you things, seeing you as an ingrate (and so would I)….

3). Don’t be “difficult.” Be easy. Be agreeable. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Go along with what others in your group suggest. Suggest things that everyone can do.

4). Don’t exclude others. Invite others to do things with you. Include as many people as possible.

5). Don’t be contrary. You should never disagree with someone unless it is absolutely necessary to do so. No one needs to hear your arguments. Stop being contrary and argumentative.

6). Don’t put in your two cents. There is no need to always put in your opinion. Learn the gift of silence. Unless it is vital or, at least, very important, keep your opinions to yourself unless they are necessary to teach others something spiritual.

7). Don’t complain. Unless there is a very good reason to do so, don’t complain. Quitcher Bitching! Some people are constantly finding fault. Don’t be one of them.

8). Be humble. Offer to take the lesser seat at dinner or at a meeting. Accept correction with grace and humility. Don’t put yourself ahead of others. Don’t try to make yourself more important than you are.

9). Don’t compete. Don’t compete with others unless necessary. Let go of your competitive nature. Stand back and let others have the glory and win. You’ll get more of yours if you let others have theirs.

10). Give others what they want almost all the time. If your husband or wife wants to cuddle and you don’t feel like it….do it anyway (this goes for sex, too). If your friends want to do something you aren’t thrilled about, do it anyway. And so on. Get into the habit of saying “what would YOU like,” rather than “what do I want?”.

11). Stop putting your own desires first. If every husband and wife in America would say “How may I serve you right now” rather than “what’s in this for me” there would BE no divorce or broken homes. If every friend would get into the habit of saying the same, this would be the friendliest spot in the Universe.

12). Try very hard to please your loved ones in the way THEY like to be pleased. Give them what they want, even if it is "hard" for you. Rejoice in giving pleasure and joy to others. Don't feel resentful, but thankful that you have had an OPPORTUNITY to serve this person you love.

Humility, which is the Queen of Spiritual Virtues (and the most important virtue of Spirituality) is the habit of putting the desires of others first rather than yourself. It goes against “good” American capitalistic values….which means it is very important spiritually. This is the core of a true Spiritual Practice. Do it and live it. It is essential to be spiritually blessed and spiritually powerful.

Love, peace, joy and prosperity,

J.

Don’t Put On The Brakes

One dark night outside a small town in Minnesota, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and soon the building was engulfed in flames.

The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.

When the firefighters appeared on the scene, the president of the chemical company rushed to the fire chief and explained that all of the company's secret formulas were in a safe in the center of the plant.

He said he would pay a bonus of $50,000 if they could recover the safe.

But the roaring flames held the firefighters off, and soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became increasingly desperate.

As additional firefighters arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department that could recover the company's safe.

Then, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the nearby Norwegian rural Volunteer Fire Company comprised mainly of Norwegians over the age of 65.

To everyone's amazement, the little run-down firetruck, operated by these old Norwegians, passed all the newer and sleek firetrucks parked outside the burning plant - - - and to everyone's shock it drove straight into the middle of the inferno!

All the other firefighters watched in awe as the Norwegian old-timers jumped off their truck and began to fight the fire with a performance and effort never seen before.

Within a short time, the Norwegian old-timers had extinguished the fire and the company's safe was found intact.

The grateful chemical company president joyfully announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave, though elderly, Norwegian fire fighters.

The local TV news reporters rushed in after capturing the event on camera and asked the Norwegian fire chief, "What are you going to do with all that money?"

"Vell," said Ole Larsen, the 70-year-old fire chief, "da furst thing ve do is fix da brakes on dat fo***ng truck!"

It was, in fact, the lack of brakes that won the old Norwegians their money.

While fixing the brakes might have seemed like the most sensible thing to do, was it the best thing to do? How many times do we “foolishly rush in” to a situation and find that, even though it is not sensible to rush in, it is the best thing we could have done.

When we enter the Spiritual Path our lives begin to turn around very rapidly. As our spirit is disciplined, we often find ourselves getting everything we ever wanted. So why do so few people “make it?” They put on the brakes.

The damned Ego Self starts to interfere with our Spiritual Path big time. We wind up getting scared that we’re actually getting these things that we’ve always dreamed about. We get the love we’ve always wanted. We get money. We get our dream job. We get recognition. As our spirit and mind become disciplined and begin to call into manifestation reality after reality, however, we begin to wonder what the “catch” is. And we soon find out.

The catch is that we actually have to change and grow. This results in changes in our relationships, our image, our bodies, our families and our finances. We’ve been saying “If I only had the money I’d do….(fill in the blank).” Well, now you have the money. What’s your excuse now? You’ve been wanting love. But as the song goes “”Now that we have love, what are we going to do with it?” Being in love with the type of person you’ve always dreamed about having isn’t quite as easy as you thought it would be, is it? It, for heaven’s sake, actually requires that you be open and respond and give up control of yourself.

The fact is that most of us want only one thing to change, and that thing is external. So we want to remain the same old neurotic, lazy, messed up us that always have been….but with new clothes, a new lover, or a brand new Mercedes. Heavens, we never signed up for actual growth did we?

Yep. That’s exactly what you did. Everything you want has a price. That price is to live in integrity, openness, growth and genuineness. If you aren’t willing to do that, you can’t have what you want, period. The same old you with a new outfit will soon ruin the new outfit so it looks just as crappy as the other old outfits you have….in every way. If you get the love you’ve dreamed of for a very long time, you’ll sabotage it until something “breaks,” and s/he will be able to be pegged as the same kind of person you’ve been with before, even if it is you who is the problem, not them.

If you aren’t willing to actually grow and change to get what you want you’re wasting your time and that of your Teacher on your Spiritual Path. Don’t bother.

Success and joy are not for wimps. Most people like being losers. Most people who don’t have the love the want don’t want it. Most people who are broke want to be broke. Most people who have a crappy job deserve nothing better.

We had a Seeker who thought she wanted a great deal in life…deep love, a wonderful job, money, travel, and the chance to call her own shots. She got a shot at all of these. When within spitting distance of everything she’d ever wanted, she said that she “couldn’t take the pain” and left the Path….of course stepping into a great deal more pain eventually…and failure after failure. I’d like to say that this is a rare tale. It isn’t. It is a common one, not only with the Shamanic Path, but with everything in life. Most Lottery winners are broke within a couple of years of winning the Lottery. They thought the Lottery would solve all their problems. They didn’t bother to grow or learn how to have wealth consciousness.

When you begin to see the Spiritual Path pay off, don’t be an idiot and let the Ego Self scare you. You’ve just one the Universal Lottery. You’re millimeters away from everything you’ve ever hoped for. You just have to have the guts to deal with the minor pain of losing things that didn’t ever matter much to you anyway to get the things that you’ve always deeply desired. Few people have the guts to do this. Do you?

If you are on the Spiritual Path and have someone now who is the Love you’ve always desired, cherish this and give everything into it. Don’t let petty concerns like family, friends, work, societal expectations or your silly fears derail your Soulmate! If you are being given the opportunity to be wealthy and do good with money, don’t get frightened and walk away from the millions you could have! If you are being given an opportunity for a dream job, what are you waiting for, hmmm? Don’t be a putz and screw it up!

Understand that this is the way the Universe works. It is often “all or nothing.” But if you’re stupid enough to screw up the opportunity the Universe gives you, you won’t often get another one for a very long time. The Universe figures that you deserve to remain a loser in life, and confirms your stupidity.

Real joy requires real sacrifice of stupidity and stubbornness. Sacrificing your own stupidity and stubbornness is not always an easy sacrifice! After all, what we’re talking about sacrificing is one’s illusion of control of one’s life. A little life is much easier to control than a large one. In a large life, the Universe wants to be in control. The Universe will usually leave you alone to control a failed life…a failed life is not important enough for God to mess with.

What do you want? Do you want a failed life that you are in absolute control of or a real life that God is in control of? You’d be surprised how many people chose a little, useless, failed life over the joy and greatness of a real life. These are the saddest people on the face of the planet, and they make things miserable for everyone, especially themselves. Don’t be one of them.

Love, peace, joy and success,

J.