We are completely and absolutely responsible for every single thing that happens to us. Let me say that again, because it is both key and most people don’t believe it. We are completely and absolutely responsible for every single thing that happens to us!
This gets many people very angry. “Why are you blaming me for being sick, getting mugged, being fired?” I’m not. I’m not saying you’re to
blame! I’m saying that you’re absolutely and radically responsible. What does that mean?
We must start with the spiritual premise that we have chosen to allow everything that happens to us so that we can learn a lesson. There is nothing that happens to us or in us that does not have something to learn from it.
Now, what happens with most people is that they’re very stubborn. They get a cosmic feather to tickle them into change or growth. They completely ignore it. They get a cosmic 2X4 upside the head. They shake their heads, say “Wow, that was really unpleasant,” and vow to change. They might even begin change for a couple of days or a couple of months. Then they go back to their same self-destructive patterns. So the Universe drops a cosmic piano on their heads to get their attention, and so on. Most people blithely ignore these things. They may even opt out of learning in this lifetime and decide that they are going to get more harsh lessons in the next lifetime or on the next plane, depending on what you believe. These are the people with your so-called “perfect lives.” They aren’t “perfect lives,” they are merely useless and lazy lives. So next time you see someone with a zombie wife or husband, 2.3 children (what does that “point three” of a child look like?) a lovely little home with a white picket fence, and absolutely no problems whatsoever…pity them. They are in for loads of lessons after their finally lay down (they’re already dead, after all) and have dirt put over them. We who are a bit more courageous have chosen to have challenging lives….otherwise known as sometimes crappy lives….to learn what we need to learn and grow into the gods we are intended to be.
So here’s your most important spiritual lesson. We. Are. Completely. And. Totally. Responsible. For. EVERY. Single. Thing. That. Happens. To. Us. If you do not accept this, you will go through what useless life you have as a victim. And, unless you’ve decided to wimp out of life altogether, your lessons are going to get harsher and harsher. So you might as well get the lesson, no matter how difficult, now, rather than later. Things will get harder and harder on you until you do.
And what is the first lesson that the Universe is trying to teach you, upon which all other real lessons depend? That you are completely and totally responsible for every single thing that happens to you. You can be stupid and stubborn and refuse to get it, or you can be intelligent and flexible and get the lesson and move on to your next lesson. But, until you get this one, you aren’t going to be allowed to move onward and upward. You’ll remain stuck without ever getting to learn about compassion, prosperity, love, or any of the other “fun” lessons. If you refuse to get this, you’re like a 35 year old stuck in Kindergarten. You look pretty damned dumb to those of us who understand what is going on.
Now, those who don’t want to accept personal responsibility will say that the rest of us are ganging up on them. That it is our fault. That we’re in some conspiracy “against” them (we’re in a conspiracy all right…
for them). That we’re “being mean” to victims. And all sorts of other congenitally stupid and idiotic remarks. We try to smile indulgently, but these people really frost our cookies. It is always someone else’s fault. We didn’t tell them. They didn’t know. No one taught them. They didn’t understand. They’re
trying for heaven’s sake. Aren't you going to give me credit for
trying, boo hoo?
No one told them how to do it. We’re leaving them out. They are introverts and can’t be expected to talk. They had a rough childhood. They’re tired. They’re too busy.
Have you heard these excuses before? Made them? Grow up! You’re being a perpetual child and, yes, you
can “help it.”
Here is the reality, baby boys and girls. No one should
have to tell you. It isn’t anyone else’s fault (including yours). We’re not in a conspiracy against you. You damned well
should know. You’re leaving
yourself out. You
aren't “trying.”
Of course you understand, you just don’t want to.
Everyone had a rough childhood, don't you know? And so on. These are all dodges simply to keep you from having to take radical responsibility for what you’re doing and what you’re pulling.
You see, if you confront these folks, you aren’t the first one. They’ve lost friends, family members won’t speak to them, they can’t hold down a job, etc. ,etc. because of their stubbornness and desire to be “left alone.” Unfortunately, that is what will eventually happen. They’ll
be left alone. Radically and completely alone. And lonely. And devastated. And those of us who are Spiritual know this, and don’t want to see them be that way and suffer in that extreme. In the end, however, everyone has free will. If they insist on being miserable, in the end, we may, weeping and mourning, have to let them destroy themselves.
If you are this person, get your head out of your behind right now. Stop making all of your excuses and face yourself in the mirror. OK, so you won’t like what you see if you’re truly looking in the mirror. That’s OK. You eventually will.
The first step, like that of an alcoholic, is to take personal responsibility. Admit that you are currently pretty useless and resolve to change and become a useful person in life. Admit that you cause others mostly misery instead of joy, and resolve, rather than beating yourself up about it, that you’re going to begin to give others joy.
Now, when you finally get your head out of your sphincter and take personal responsibility, you’re going to have some hard lessons and get some hard Karma. Suck it up. Deal. Don’t go around feeling sorry for yourself, because it is, after all, your responsibility that you have the Karma to begin with. Accept it joyfully and with a smile on your face. You’ve gotta pay it and get through it one way or another, because you aren’t advanced enough to transcend it through love. You’ve got a more elementary lesson to learn than love, which is the only way you
can transcend Karma. You have to learn personal responsibility. That means that you’re going to have feel some of the pain that you’ve caused others, so you understand.
Now, you’re going to want to blame God or the Universe or others or even yourself for this, or feel sorry for yourself, or hate yourself. If you are doing this, you
still don’t frigging
get it, do you? It
isn't anyone’s “fault.” Not yours and not God’s and sure as hell not your friends or family. It
is, however, your responsibility.
Take personal responsibility and don’t blame anyone. Deal with going through your Karma and take it like a real man or real woman. Don’t whine and feel sorry for yourself and expect other people to “understand” that it’s hard for you. You likely put other people through hell when you were unconscious. Why should they “understand?” If you expect that, you’re still wanting to be treated as a victim, which means you
stil don't get it! Only victims get upset. Only victims need people “to understand” and give them “poor babys.” You aren’t poor and you aren’t a baby. Be a man or woman and live with it!
You have a personal responsibility to deal with what you’ve caused in life. You probably need some pain to learn your lesson. And if you’ve been as stubborn as most Americans are when they are supposed to be learning a lesson that doesn’t adore them as perfect, you probably need
lots of pain to learn your lesson. If you want “understanding” and “poor babys” you aren’t going to learn your lesson. Only true babies expect “poor babys” or understanding.
Some people just want to be “left alone” to nurse their wounds. This, again, is a sign that you just plain
don't get it! You
can't be “left alone” unless you truly want to be “left alone.” The fact that you “need” (you
don't“need,” you actually only want) to nurse your wounds says that, once again,
you don't get it! You need to
expose your wounds to let them heal, and be open to those who want to scrub
out your wounds and give them air. They are your doctors and nurses.
Now, most stubborn people will use psychology terms to explain why others are being “mean” to them. They will say that they are just “the identified patient,” or “the scapegoat,” or whatever. They’ll claim that something is a “systems problem,” not their problem alone. Or that their friends and family members who ARE conscious doing an intervention are isolating them or forming bonds over the victimizing of them. Stop this. This is one more escape route that you’re using.
Most unconscious people will go round and round in circular thinking. For every solution to the failure of the unconscious person to learn his or her lesson about person responsibility, they will have an excuse or escape route for why this won’t work, why it is “unkind,” or what they “can’t” do. They’re ill. So and so is “intimidating” (what a
great cop-out word!). They don’t have the training. They aren’t good at standing up for themselves, and on and on and on
ad nauseum. These are, again, all cop outs.
In the end, if you want to be conscious and learn
anything in this life, you will take responsibility. Radically. Totally. Without your damned whining. Without excuses. Without cop-outs. Without avoiding Karma. Without licking your wounds. Openly. With great vulnerability. This is the
only way to become conscious.
If you have a victim in your life, get other conscious friends and confront them. Again and again until they either leave your life and be useless for the rest of theirs or finally, beaten and battered (with you beaten and battered by their bullcrap) they get a clue. If you are that person, time to grow up, baby boy or baby girl. Time to stop being a child and be a grown up. Time to actually do something useful except whine.
In the end, these folks have two choices. They can be useless or they can live lives of learning and growth. It is
their choice. All those of us who are Spiritual and conscious can do is try to intervene in their highly self-destructive behavior. But we can’t
make them be human beings, no matter how painful it is to us to see them destroy themselves. We can only plead and, if they won’t listen to us, mourn.
Love, peace, joy, prosperity,
J.